Online counselling for life’s difficult moments
For people who feel things deeply — lost, sad, disconnected, weighed down, or just not themselves
Some days you're just going through the motions. Even the hobbies, interests and activities that are supposed to be fun don't quite feel the way they used to. You might be crying more than anyone knows, mostly alone, mostly quietly. Or perhaps you're feeling everything more intensely than usual, and finding it harder to keep your feelings from spilling into the rest of your life.
Maybe you're the one people call kind, conscientious, good-hearted. You're quick to check everyone else is okay. You do things as close to perfectly as you can. Being criticised can feel almost unbearable, so you work hard to make sure there isn't much to criticise — even when people tell you something doesn't need to be perfect. You're hard on yourself, more than anyone would know, but it's normal to you. It's just how you've always been.
You might have family, friends, a life that looks full from the outside — and still feel somehow alone in it, watching other people seem to move through life with an ease you can't find. Perhaps you're exhausted from holding everything together, unsure what you actually want, or finding decisions that used to feel manageable strangely difficult.
And underneath all of that is the endless feeling that it's still not enough. That you're still not enough.
Sometimes this builds slowly, for years. Sometimes something happens — a death, an ending, a change you didn't choose — and everything you'd been managing to hold together stops holding. You turn up places full of dread. You can't concentrate. You withdraw, snap at people you love, or find yourself reacting in ways that don't feel like you. And somewhere in there, you find yourself thinking, “is this it?” — scared that life will always feel this way.
A relational, reflective and embodied space that meets you where you are
Therapy can give you somewhere to bring the feelings you've been carrying quietly, as well as the ones that have started to feel harder to contain. Over time, you might begin to feel less alone with what you're going through, and less harsh with yourself for finding it difficult.
You might find yourself able to notice what you need, to trust your own feelings and responses, and to say when something hurts. Perhaps it becomes easier to make decisions without questioning yourself quite so much, be kinder to yourself when you're struggling, and loosen some of the expectations you've spent years trying to live up to.
There may be things you can't change, and losses that will always matter. But how you live alongside them can change — giving you space to feel more present in your life, and more like yourself again.
I’m Laurie Hole, an online BACP-accredited psychotherapeutic counsellor working with adults through life's difficult or defining experiences — specialising in the losses and changes that affect us deeply.
However you feel, and whatever has brought you here, it's welcome
I work exclusively online with adults across the UK and Europe, offering an inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming and LGBTQIA+ allied space where all parts of you are welcome.
Why you might find yourself here:
Something has changed: a relationship has ended, work or family life has shifted, you've experienced rejection or disappointment, or life has taken a direction you weren't expecting.
Feelings don't seem to have an obvious cause: you're not going through anything you could point to, and yet the sadness, worry or heaviness is there anyway.
You're hard on yourself in ways other people don't see: the self-criticism, the standards, the pressure to get things right — much of it happens quietly, and you've never really said it out loud before.
Relationships feel difficult: you might feel lonely even when you're not alone, struggle to say when something hurts, worry about disappointing people, or find yourself caught in difficult relationships with family, friends or partners.
You've been carrying a lot for a long time: perhaps you're used to being the capable or dependable one, getting on with things and doing what needs to be done. You may have reached a point where carrying on in the same way just doesn't feel possible anymore.
Something from your past is still affecting you: an early relationship, bullying, rejection, feeling different or not belonging, or experiences you thought you'd left behind may still show up in how you feel about yourself or relate to other people.
You've lost someone or something that matters: whether through bereavement or another kind of loss, you're trying to live with what's changed and find your feet in a life that doesn't feel quite the same.
Many of the people I work with recognise themselves in several of these experiences, while others may only connect with one or two. You don't need to have a name for what's wrong before you arrive.
Ready to take the first step?
Reaching out can feel daunting, but you don't have to figure it all out before you get in touch.
If you have a question I haven’t answered here, you’re always welcome to get in touch and ask.
Frequently Asked Questions
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You don’t need to have one clearly defined problem or know exactly what you want to work on before getting in touch. Something may have happened, you may be grieving a loss or change, struggling in a relationship, or finding that life simply feels harder than it used to. Or perhaps nothing obvious is wrong, but you feel sad, worried, overwhelmed or unlike yourself.
Often things overlap. We can start with whatever is happening for you and see where the work takes us.
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You don’t need to be in crisis or reach a particular level of difficulty before coming to therapy. Sometimes people seek counselling because something has happened; other times there’s a growing sense that something isn’t working, they don’t feel quite like themselves, or they simply don’t want to keep feeling the way they do.
You also don’t need to know in advance whether therapy will help. A free introductory call gives us a chance to talk briefly about what has brought you here and whether working together might feel like a good fit.
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No. You may already have a strong sense of where some of your difficulties come from, or you might have no idea why you feel the way you do.
We can begin with what you’re experiencing now. Sometimes connections with earlier relationships, losses or experiences become clearer as we go; at other times, what matters most is what’s happening in your life today. We don’t need to decide on an explanation before we start.
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There isn’t a threshold you need to cross before you’re allowed to ask for support. You might look at your life and think you should be coping, compare yourself with people who seem to have been through more, or struggle to explain why something has affected you as much as it has.
If something is affecting how you feel about yourself, your relationships or the way you’re living your life, we can make space for it without needing to prove that it is serious enough.
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I work online with individual adults across the UK and Europe. My practice is inclusive, neurodivergent-affirming and LGBTQIA+ allied, and I welcome people with different identities, backgrounds, relationships and ways of experiencing the world.
You don’t need to identify with a particular label or fit neatly into one of the areas described on my website. What matters is whether you feel that my way of working might suit what you’re looking for.
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Yes. I’m a registered and accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).
Being accredited means my training, experience and practice have been assessed against BACP’s professional standards. I work within their Ethical Framework, which sets out the responsibilities I have towards you as a client — including confidentiality, professional boundaries, working within my competence, ongoing supervision and continuing professional development.
For you, it means there are clear professional and ethical standards behind the way I practise, as well as accountability beyond our work together.