The Relational Trauma of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)
Consistently having our emotional needs go ignored, and unmet, as a child, is a hidden form of relational trauma called Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).
This type of neglect is often unintentional and less likely to be noticed, but it is no less harmful and is most likely to have ripple effects into adulthood. Sometimes CEN can occur when a primary caregiver is struggling with alcohol or substance abuse, mental health difficulties, unresolved or generational trauma or learnt maternal behaviour (Cold Mother Syndrome). Other times, it can be the result of a lack of awareness on the caregivers part or growing up in a large family where individual attention was harder to provide.
Often, adults who experienced CEN are likely to say “they had everything they needed” but when digging a bit deeper, this often means their physical and materialistic needs were met, but their emotional worlds weren’t acknowledged or validated in the same way.
If you’re an adult of an emotionally absent parent(s) or primary caregiver(s), you might notice you experience:
☑︎ Anxiety
☑︎ Depression
☑︎ Low self-esteem, which might present as feeling your needs are a burden to others, needing to be the “strong” one or that you’re not good enough/you don’t matter.
☑︎ Being unable to name, connect to, or express your feelings and emotions.
☑︎ Fearing abandonment, rejection and criticism.
If this resonates with you, I can help you to heal from this type of relational trauma and support you to make sense of your experience and grieve the relationship you didn’t have but very much needed and deserved.
I bring with me extensive research, training and clinical experience, which means working at your pace, we can help you to:
☑︎ Explore your inner, emotional world.
☑︎ Give names to your feelings.
☑︎ Get comfortable with having and expressing your own needs.
☑︎ Develop a mind-body connection.
☑︎ Rebuild your sense of self, your identity and your ability to authentically connect with others.
One of my greatest privileges as a therapist, is being able to support you to build self-compassion, trust and inner-safety. Connecting with our emotional world can be a transformative experience and will give you the opportunity to lead a more contented and fulfilled life. Learning to regulate your nervous system, will help to prevent overwhelm and will enable you to tune into your intuition, supporting you to make choices most aligned with you, your needs and your values.