Online Counselling for Bereavement, Grief & Loss
Loss can leave you trying to make sense of a life that no longer looks the way you expected it to.
Perhaps someone has died and you’re trying to understand a world in which they’re no longer here. Or perhaps what you’ve lost is harder to name — a relationship, your health, a role or identity, the family you hoped for, or a future you thought you were moving towards. Whatever the loss, it can affect far more than the person or thing that is no longer there. It can change the shape of your everyday life, your relationships, your sense of safety, the future you imagined, and even who you understand yourself to be.
You might be moving between sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, anxiety, relief or disbelief — or functioning surprisingly well and wondering whether what you’re feeling really counts as grief at all. There may be feelings that are difficult to admit, questions that don’t have answers, or moments when the reality of what has changed still doesn’t quite feel real. And grief doesn’t necessarily become easier simply because time has passed. Sometimes it’s only later — when life around you has carried on — that you begin to understand the significance of what has changed.
You don’t need your grief to look a particular way, or your loss to fit a particular definition, before seeking support.
When someone has died
The death of someone important can leave an absence that reaches into parts of life you might never have expected.
There is the person themselves and everything you miss about them, but there can also be the loss of the relationship you had with them, the role they played in your life, the person you were when they were here, and the future you assumed would include them.
Sometimes the circumstances of a death bring another layer to grief. If someone died suddenly or traumatically, your mind may keep returning to what happened — replaying particular moments, images, decisions or unanswered questions. The world itself can feel less predictable or safe than it did before.
At other times, what makes grief difficult is the relationship itself. You might be grieving someone you loved deeply, someone you had mixed feelings about, or someone with whom things were complicated, distant or unresolved. Their death can also mean grieving the possibility that the relationship might one day have become something different.
And sometimes your grief goes largely unseen. You may find yourself supporting everybody else, feel unable to talk about the relationship openly, or sense that the people around you expect you to be coping differently by now.
There isn’t a particular point after someone dies when counselling becomes appropriate. You might want support in the first weeks or months, find yourself struggling years later, or begin to understand the impact of a loss differently as your own life changes.
Grief beyond bereavement
Sometimes grief has nowhere obvious to go. We often associate grief with death, but we can grieve many different kinds of loss.
A relationship ending. Not having the child or family you hoped for. Reaching a point where the future you imagined for yourself is no longer possible. Estrangement from someone you love. A change in your health or abilities. Losing a career or role that mattered to you.
And sometimes what you’re grieving is harder to name — the relationship that never became what you needed it to be, a version of yourself you no longer recognise, a sense of belonging or safety you once had, or a life you thought you would be living by now.
These losses can be particularly lonely because there may be no recognised moment that marks what has happened. No funeral or ritual. No obvious point at which other people understand that your life has changed. Sometimes the people around you may not understand why it has affected you so deeply. You might even struggle to give yourself permission to call it grief. But the absence of a death doesn’t mean the absence of loss.
Therapy can offer somewhere to acknowledge what has changed or didn’t come to be, what it means to you, and the parts of yourself, your relationships or your imagined future that may have changed alongside it.
One moment life looks familiar.
The next, you barely recognise the life you’re standing in.
There’s no “right way” to grieve
There are a lot of messages about what grief is supposed to look like — how we should feel, how long it should last, and what it means to be “coping well”.
But grief rarely fits neatly around those expectations.
You might feel devastated one day and relatively okay the next. You might cry easily or hardly at all. You may feel angry, frightened, numb, relieved or guilty — sometimes several of those things at once. You might need to talk about your loss, find yourself avoiding talking about it altogether, or discover that words simply don’t capture what you’re experiencing.
None of those responses tells us how much someone or something mattered to you.
Grief can also change over time rather than simply diminish. A new relationship, milestone, anniversary, change in role, or simply reaching a different point in your own life can bring a loss close again or allow you to see it differently. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve gone backwards or become stuck. Sometimes life has moved, and your grief needs space to move with it.
The way you experience grief is shaped by who you are, your relationship with who or what you’ve lost, the circumstances surrounding the loss, and everything you bring with you — including earlier experiences and previous losses.
My role isn’t to help you “move on” or get you back to the person you were before. Therapy can give us somewhere to understand what this loss has changed for you — not only how you feel, but your relationships, your sense of yourself, what you believe, what matters to you, how safe the world feels, or the future you imagined.
Some of those changes may be painful. Others might surprise you. And some may only become visible much later.
The work can make room for all of that: acknowledging how you have been changed by what happened, while staying curious about who you are becoming as your life continues around your loss.
Your grief can move with you, with space for both what you’ve lost and the life you’re living now — without one needing to diminish for the other to exist.
Grief in your 20s & 30s
Losing someone in your twenties or thirties can feel particularly isolating. While the people around you may be building careers, relationships and families, you might be trying to find your feet in a life that has changed far earlier than you ever expected. Grief can sit alongside all the usual transitions of early adulthood, while changing how you see yourself and the future you thought lay ahead.
Areas of particular interest
Within my wider work with grief and loss, there are some experiences I’ve developed a particular interest in and understanding of.
When death happens “out of order”
Sometimes death doesn’t come in the order we quietly expect life to follow — a child dies before a parent, a life is cut short, or someone dies suddenly or in traumatic circumstances. These losses can disrupt not only who is gone, but the future you imagined, your sense of safety, and some of your most fundamental expectations about how life was supposed to unfold.
If you have a question I haven’t answered here, you’re always welcome to get in touch and ask.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Yes. Online counselling can give you somewhere to talk about your loss from the familiarity of your own space, which some people find particularly helpful when grief already feels exhausting or overwhelming.
We can work with whatever your grief is bringing — whether that’s difficult feelings, changes in your relationships or sense of self, physical responses, unanswered questions, or simply trying to make sense of a life that now feels different.
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My specialist grief and loss training is grounded in a human-centred framework that recognises every person’s grief as unique. I don’t use a set model or assume there’s a particular way your grief should unfold. I’m interested in your experience of your loss — your relationship with who or what you’ve lost, the circumstances surrounding it, what you bring with you, and what has changed because of it.
I work with more than just your thoughts about what has happened. Grief is a deeply personal, holistic experience that can show up emotionally, physically, relationally and spiritually. Our work might include what you’re feeling, what you notice in your body, the ways your relationships or sense of self have been affected, and experiences that are difficult to put into words. The way we work will be shaped by what you need, rather than asking your grief to fit a particular model.
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There isn’t a set amount of time you need to wait before seeking counselling after someone dies. Some people want support in the first days or weeks; others don’t feel ready until months or years later.
Reaching out early doesn’t mean you’re trying to rush or “process” your grief, and waiting doesn’t mean you’ve left it too late. What matters is whether having somewhere to bring what you’re experiencing would feel helpful to you now.
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Yes. Grief doesn’t necessarily become easier in a straight line as more time passes. Sometimes a loss can feel closer again months or years later — perhaps as life changes, another loss occurs, or the reality of what has changed takes on new meaning.
You may also find yourself returning to parts of the loss, your relationship with the person who died, or the person you were then with a different understanding now. There isn’t a point at which a loss becomes “too old” to bring to counselling.
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Grief can include sadness and longing, but it can also bring anger, numbness, anxiety, guilt, relief, confusion — or periods when you feel surprisingly okay. You might find yourself functioning well and wonder whether you cared enough, or struggling more than you expected and worry that you should be coping better.
There isn’t one emotional response that proves how much someone or something mattered to you. Your grief is shaped by your relationship, your circumstances and who you are — it doesn’t need to resemble anyone else’s.
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Yes. We can grieve relationships that end or change, estrangement, changes in health or identity, a career or role that mattered to us, and futures we expected but will no longer have.
Sometimes these losses are particularly difficult because the people around us don’t recognise them as grief. You don’t need to prove that something was significant enough to count as a loss. We can explore what it meant to you, what has changed because of it, and what you’re carrying now.
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There’s no expectation for how you should express your grief in counselling. You might cry a lot, not at all, or find that your feelings show up in ways you weren’t expecting.
If you’re worried that once you start talking you won’t be able to stop, we can go at a pace that feels manageable rather than pushing you to talk about things before you’re ready. And if the tears don’t come, that doesn’t mean you aren’t grieving deeply or that something is wrong.
You don’t need to show me how much your loss hurts for it to be taken seriously. We can work with however your grief is showing up for you.