Grief in Your 20s and 30s: Support When Loss Arrives Early in Adult Life
When loss reshapes life earlier than expected
If you’re bereaved in your late teens, twenties, or early thirties — or grieving an earlier loss during this period of your life — you can find yourself navigating grief alongside all the usual pressures of young adulthood.
This life stage already comes with the pressure of uncertainty, comparison, and social expectations. Grief can further disrupt your sense of belonging, leaving you feeling out of step with peers or unsure how to relate. You may also be mourning not just a person, but the life you imagined before the loss.
In our work together, we create space to make sense of your experience and begin healing at your own pace — without pressure to “move on” or fit someone else’s timeline.
Although I support adults of all ages, I have a particular understanding of the complexities that can accompany loss in early adulthood.
Why grief can feel different at this stage of life
Grief in your 20s and 30s often carries layers that others may not immediately see or understand.
☑︎ Your friends’ lives continue as before, while yours has been abruptly interrupted.
☑︎ Your sense of trust — in the world, others, and sometimes yourself — has been shaken.
☑︎ Your emotional world may feel unfamiliar — intense at times, or strangely muted — making it harder to recognise yourself day to day.
☑︎ You might find yourself making choices you wouldn’t normally make, as grief shifts your perspective on risk, time, and what matters.
☑︎ You feel out of step with your peers, carrying questions and decisions that now hold more weight.
☑︎ You feel forced to grow up faster than expected, losing the freedom your friends still seem to have.
This can be an especially lonely place — even when you are surrounded by people who care.
How I support you to feel less consumed by grief
People often contact me and say “I just want to go back to the person I was before”. I hear you — life felt a whole lot less complicated before. But the reality is, when any life-changing experience happens — including bereavement — it’s just not possible.
My work with you isn’t about getting you back to who you were before — it’s about helping you process what you’ve experienced and make sense of how it impacts your life today, lessening the heaviness and allowing you to live alongside and move with — not from — your grief.
Often, young adults are responded to in their grief through established models and theories — such as the five stages of grief, the growing-around model, and the dual-process model. While these frameworks can be helpful, they don’t always reflect the lived complexity of loss during earlier adulthood. This understanding shapes my TIME approach — a framework developed through research, professional experience, and lived insight into grief in early adulthood — and informs the way I support young adults living alongside loss.
If you’re still getting a feel for how I view grief experienced by young adults, Speaking Grief can give a more in-depth sense of how I work, at a pace you can take in your own time.
“One minute, everything is normal. The next, the world has cracked open.”
~ Speaking Grief ~
Grief doesn’t always look how people expect
You don’t have to be falling apart to seek support
Many people I work with are functioning well on the surface — working, parenting, maintaining relationships — yet privately aware that something within them has shifted.
When it’s time to talk
☑︎ You feel different but can’t easily explain why
☑︎ Others seem further ahead in life
☑︎ Your loss still shapes your world
☑︎ You are tired of carrying it alone
☑︎ You want somewhere you don’t have to hold it all together
Grief experienced earlier in adult life can shape you in lasting ways — but it does not have to be something you navigate unsupported. If you’re wondering whether therapy might help, you are very welcome to get in touch, or you can also read more about my broader bereavement counselling here.
Grief in your 20s and 30s: Common Questions
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Grief can feel especially unsettling during early adulthood because it arrives at a time often associated with momentum — building relationships, careers, independence, and future plans. When loss interrupts this period, it can create a sense of being out of step with the life you expected to be living.
You may notice friends continuing forward while your inner world has fundamentally shifted. This contrast can bring an unexpected loneliness, even when you are surrounded by supportive people.
Grief at this stage is not only about what has been lost, but also about the future that may now look different. Having space to explore this can help you move through early adulthood in a way that still feels like your own.
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Losing a parent earlier in adult life can be profoundly disorienting. At a stage when many people still experience their parent as a source of stability, guidance, or emotional anchoring, their absence can shift how the world feels almost overnight.
Alongside grief itself, you may find yourself questioning your sense of safety, identity, or direction. Some people notice a heightened awareness of life’s uncertainty, while others feel a sudden pressure to grow up more quickly than expected.
There is no single way this loss shapes a person — but it is common for it to leave both emotional and practical ripples that take time to understand. Therapy offers space to make sense of these changes and to find steadiness again in a world that may feel less predictable.
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Yes — many people are surprised by the cognitive impact of grief. Difficulties with memory, focus, decision-making, and mental clarity are very common, particularly in the months following a significant loss.
When something life-altering happens, your mind is working hard to process emotional shock while also adapting to a changed reality. This can temporarily reduce the capacity available for everyday thinking.
Although this experience can feel unsettling, it is a deeply human response rather than a sign that something is wrong with you. With time, understanding, and support, many people find this mental fog gradually eases.
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It can be painful when the people around you care, yet don’t fully grasp the depth of what you are carrying. Often this isn’t a lack of compassion — it may simply reflect that many people have not yet encountered loss in the same way.
You might find yourself filtering what you share, minimising your experience, or wondering if you are expecting too much. Over time, this can add another layer of loneliness to grief.
Alongside supportive relationships, it can help to have somewhere your experience does not need translating or softening. Therapy offers a space where your grief is met with understanding, allowing you to speak openly about what has changed for you.You can reach us anytime via our contact page or email. We aim to respond quickly—usually within one business day.
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You can find more detail about how I work, the kinds of difficulties I support, and what to expect from therapy here.
If you have practical questions about starting therapy, session structure, confidentiality, or fees, these are covered here.
You’re also welcome to get in touch if you’d prefer to ask a question directly or explore whether working together might feel right for you.